shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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