Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The air was thick with penises
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
