And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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