Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
