32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
