I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
