im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
