Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
