it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
