So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Randomize
