Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
