yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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