Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
worst night to have a conscience
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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