so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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