check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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