So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
