So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
