I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
