fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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