Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Who did Billy Mays play for?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
