you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
why is half of my head shaved?
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