dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
