You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
