She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
