Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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