guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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