I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
