How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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