Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I can't turn off my feet"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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