Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
