i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
