I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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