i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
