Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
