Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
