I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
