i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
