I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
