Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
