Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
And then he peed in my hair
Two words: nipple clamps
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