in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
