I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
