i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Randomize
