Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize