no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
