so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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