We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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