i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
