it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
