Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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