At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
