My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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