Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
